i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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