Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
