direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Everclear isn't food dammit
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
