Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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