"it" just moved
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
