He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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