it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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