Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
