for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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