my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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