I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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