Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
