There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
