Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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