Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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