the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
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yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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