Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
