how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
