i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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