they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
