I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Randomize