Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(704): View more from North Carolina

i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.

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(510): View more from California

I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets

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(540): View more from Virginia

I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did

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(914): View more from New York

I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.

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(806): View more from Texas

Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.

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(917): View more from New York City

Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida

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(513): View more from Ohio

dude I fucking saw you snort tequila

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