so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
someone owes me an orgasm
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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