ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
