Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
