Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
