The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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