is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
