the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
