So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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