Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
