what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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