I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
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