You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
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