it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
