I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
