YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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