I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
