I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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