I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
