can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
