their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
