Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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