The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
