i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
it was like his penis was on wheels.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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