I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
