um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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