She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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