i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I am naked and annoyed.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
