Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
