is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
