I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
