I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
