tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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