put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Your penis caused this!
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
