She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
