Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
