id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
