You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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