How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize