dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
