My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Watching her eat just hurts me
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
