I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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