Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
