I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
