I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I have feelings that need drinking.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
